Let it be unresolved: When change is coming, but you’re not quite ready
In early January, I gave a talk at a local library. I never know how these things are going to go. Days before the event, I began to wonder/worry: Who’s going to come? Will anyone come? And, if they do come, what brought them there?
People came! And they were ready to have a conversation.
Some wanted to know more about my book. Some wanted to know about the process of writing a memoir. Others brought their questions and curiosity about what to do when you’re at a crossroads.
One woman asked, “What’s that moment when you knew something had to change? How did you actually do it?”
Many transformation stories start with the breaking point. But when I share my personal story, I always emphasize that it wasn’t one moment, but a series of moments. It takes time to get to that place.
These pivotal moments make up the plot and storyline of my memoir, “Girl in the Spotlight”: my rising career in television news, beginning to question the path I was on, and ultimately letting go of a dream. Each moment taught me something important, preparing me for the leap I’d eventually take.
I sensed change was coming. Countless times I wondered if I had the courage to change course. The internal negotiation tied me in knots: Was it the right thing to do? What would it say about me? Was I a quitter? Had I failed? What if I stick it out just a little bit longer? Can I make it work?
Here’s what I say to anyone who’s standing at a crossroads:
If you’re questioning whether now’s the time to make a big change, maybe it’s not time. The moment is coming, but maybe you’re not ready yet. If you know something has to change but you’re not sure when or what or how, let me offer this:
Let it be unresolved.
In our intense effort to fix things or figure it out, we get in our own way. Trying to solve it could be the very thing that’s keeping you stuck.
Trying to solve it can keep you from seeing the answers, clues, and next steps that are revealed to us when we’re simply going about our days, living our lives, and being present.
Sometimes the deep-knowing rushes in with intensity, like a crisis, and sometimes the knowing comes like a stillness, a peace.
But sometimes you’re living squarely in the center of the not-knowing, and if that’s the case, let it be unresolved.
Don’t put more pressure on the situation by expecting the answer to jump out at you. Step into your day and live your life. Be real. Be present. And trust yourself. If new information comes in you’ll receive it. If a circumstance changes or you have a shift in perspective, you’ll be there for it.
It’s not one thing, but a series of things. Sometimes change takes longer than you think it will. Each moment prepares you for the next. You’re receiving important information and tools. When it’s time, you’ll know. And whether you feel ready or not, you’ll walk through the fear and uncertainty. You’ll do it.
My next book talk will be held at the main branch of the Charleston County Public Library on Saturday, February 24 at 10:00 am. I hope to see you there!
Other upcoming talks hosted by the Charleston County Public Library:
- Tuesday, March 5 @ 2 p.m. – Hurd/St. Andrews Library
- Thursday, March 14 @ 4 p.m. – Edisto Library
- Tuesday, March 19 @ 6 p.m. – Wando Mount Pleasant Library
- Saturday, April 27 @ 2p.m. – Baxter-Patrick James Island Library
You can also read past Hello Friday blogs right here on The Palmetto Network on our What’s Happening page.